As one door closes, another opens — “What’d that sound like to you, Cooper?” “Sounded like the accountant’s head being slammed into his desk, Boss.” “Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. Go have a look, will ya?” The Boss was busy eating his breakfast. Breakfast’s a serious business, and he doesn’t like interruptions. Sliding my Glock out…

Dr Risk’s common sense guide — Shortly after joining this platform, I began to notice a great many products, remedies, services, and other assorted nebulous offerings that consistently confound classification, all proclaiming to be life-changing. Despite the many erudite and persuasive arguments made in the articles providing information on these life-changers, I occasionally found myself unable…

Only asks once — They reached the last rest point on the trail just as I finished strapping the last of my camping gear onto my new donkey. “Hail, dragon-slayers, I fear you are too late,” I called out companionably, only to find myself instantly looking down the flight rail of four crossbows. Amateurs. …

You don’t simply retire from some jobs — He stubbed out his cigarette too hard, bending his thumb so far back it looked like he was going to dislocate it. A large bead of sweat chased its kin down his temple. If he’d been wired up to any biometrics, they would have been off the charts. But he…

Putting the fool back in foolproof plan — No, I’m a funny guy; everyone says so. Well, everyone in my family, except uncle Shawn. He wouldn’t know funny if it spiked his punch at whatever holiday the mirthless old git celebrates. So why am I not a top humour writer yet? If you’re anything like old me, you’d…

A fragile truce on the cusp of a new era — “Is this what kin means to you?” One of the three Cousins dropped her head, unwilling to meet the Checkpoint Commander’s gaze. Another shuffled his feet slightly, stepping almost imperceptibly back. …

Don’t send undergrads to do a post-doc’s job — Secure Communication Channel From: Admiral Drake Vessel: Command Ship Indomitable To: All fleet vessels Greetings, Rear Admirals, Commodores, Captains, and Commanders of the Privateer Armada. All our intelligence points to the probability that the Dean of Engineering is lying low in the wildcat mining settlement on the far side of…

The future judges you harshly — How’d… I get… here? Where is here? I think I said that out loud. My head feels like it’s exploding. I tried opening my eyes, but I can’t see anything, so I closed them again. But, it didn’t make the pain go away. My ears are ringing too. Is that…

A great time was had by most. — Dear Colleagues This week we try a new introduction to this newsletter that the Marketing Team assure me has polled better than some of my previous introductions. Why my words must be tested on people prior to releasing them, I don’t know, but at least this new introduction aligns with…